Attacks.

It overcame me yesterday. I was a mess. Why won't it stop attacking me? It pains me, it makes me cry. I just wonder why it has to pick me to attack. It's imaginary claws clawed against my skin, leaving burned and tender marks. It marked where it clawed me. It leaves a mark for every time it attacks me. I'm too young to receive all this pain, aren't I?
But it doesn't seem to care. It just gets happiness from my pain, it seems. I try to run away from it, I fail. I try to fight it, I fail. I try to get help, I fail. I try to cover myself, I fail. Everything I do, I fail. Nothing will stop it from attacking me. I had to go to the hospital because it attacked me too much one night. I was crying on the hospital bed. I was scared, afraid, worried, concerned about myself. I didn't know what to do. They said they would help. They said I needed to spend the night at another hospital to get rid of it.
Do you think it worked.. ? Ah... no! It got angry that I was trying to leave it, so it attacked me worse. I wanted home, I wanted my parents. They helped at least a little. I just couldn't stay there one more second. You don't deserve home, it said. You like the attacks, it said another time. You don't deserve ANYONE!, it screamed in my ear.
I wanted out. And it still attacks me now. I try my best to fight it though. It insults me, it frightens me, it takes everything I have. They tell me, Oh, it'll get better! One day, I'm not going to be able to take it anymore. I'll just end it right there. Since I really don't believe them.