I really want to eat dinner with my family.

I'll only be able to eat with my dad and mother, none of my other family. It feels lonely without them, it makes me cry. That's all I really want, because I haven't seen my three uncles in God knows when. I also haven't seen my aunt on my dad's side in forever.
This makes me feel terrible about my life. It makes me want to change even more. It inspires me to be out more, to be more nicer, to be more thankful that I have family. It makes me feel even worse to remember that I never visited my aunt Vicki before she didn't win the battle of cancer. It makes me regret not visiting and talking to her more. I hardly even knew her.
I just found out I'll be able to see my aunt and two uncles on my dad's side of the family tomorrow... on Christmas. But I probably won't get to see my other uncle. He's had a hard life, even harder than I. He spent time with the wrong people. I couldn't even see him since I was four, now I am able to, but it's too hard because I cry every time I see him and he seems like he couldn't care less.